remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
