The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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