what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I party with great urgency now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
