Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
