she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
