and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
