I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
