Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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