you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
