Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
