I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He shit in the fireplace
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
