I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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