Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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