so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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