okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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