I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
