They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
