Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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