I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
