she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
