I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm at about main and main street
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
