4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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