I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
