its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
