I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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