You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
