He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
