ugly people sure do ruin things
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
