Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
