so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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