it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
