So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
