guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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