he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
