Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
