I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
