Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
