May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
