It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
