Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
