we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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