That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
