Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
