Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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