Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
