I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
