Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
