I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
