It's Friday. Sex?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
