'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
