i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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