Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
