It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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