I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
